I'm a temp. I started out when I lived in London and found that I really quite liked the lifestyle. It gives me a lot of freedom to go on holiday, or take days off when the weather was good, and I got do try things I otherwise wouldn't have tried, and go places I wouldn't have bothered to go. I haven't done it in a while, because the russian roulette of rent paying was a little stressful, but when I lost my job recently I signed up again, just until I could find a real job.
I'd half forgotten about it when I had a phone call, as all temping-related phone calls are, on Monday morning after a weekend of hiking, camping, very little sleep and several Sunday night drinks.
Me: Uhhh?
Recruitment Agent: *overly cheerful for 8am* Hi Hannah it's Rochelle here from Madison!! I was just wondering if you were interested in temping for us today!
Me: Uh-huh.
Recruitment Agent: Great!! It's at Kiwirail, their receptionist is off sick and they need someone in there as soon as possible!! Would you like me to email you the details, or will I just tell you?!
Me: Uhh...both...?
Recruitment Agent: Excellent!!! The office is...
(At this point I may have gone back to sleep a bit - she was going to email me the details so I didn't really need to listen...)
Me: Uh-huh... M'on my way...
Recruitment Agent: Great!! Good luck and just let me know if you have any questions!!
(I did have a question, but since it was "how the hell do you use exclaimation marks in conversation??" I decided to keep quiet.)
I impressed myself by making it from bed to desk, including getting lost, in 74 minutes and was set up with the phone system, a pile of mail to open and all the stationery my little heart could desire.
One of the great things about temping is the variety, but no matter where your assignment is, there will always be some elements of every temp job which are exactly the same.
There are some great elements: people are always really grateful that you made it in on such short notice; no one ever bothers to teach you the complicated tasks because it's easier to leave them for the full timer; and you have the 'get out of responsibility free' card "I'm so sorry, I don't know - I'm just a temp!"
There are negative elements too, of course: it's virtually impossible to learn thirty new names five days a week; people look at you strangely when you can't fulfil basic tasks like finding a stamp; and the look of disappointment on people's faces when you aren't who they expect to be sitting at the reception desk is quite a crushing blow to the self-esteem.
On balance though, it's a pretty sweet deal, and it's assignments like my current one that make me enjoy temping - all the other staff are really friendly, there's a coffee machine in the kitchen and some people have even learnt my name!
Now if only I could avoid the 8am phone calls this would be the perfect job.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
he benefis of unemplomen1
I lost my job the other day.
I've never lost a job before, so it was kind of a new experience, and I hated that job so I wasn't really upset about it, but my boss is a wanker so I was mad on principle.
He *graciously* offered to let me work until the end of the day, so I watched TV online until the accountant handed over my final cheque (yes, they paid me by cheque) then packed up my things, stole a few plastic dogs (the office theme is dogs) and went to have an afternoon beer with a friend.
My colleagues (who also hate their jobs) and I brainstormed a couple of ways I could take revenge, but since most of them involved setting fire to the office or legal proceedings, I decided to just move on with my life and I spent the next few days hiking, sleeping in, going to the beach, and enjoying the sunshine.
However, anyone who has to pay rent knows that this sort of lifestyle is not sustainable and after a week of loving life, I decided it was time to start job hunting.
I started with seek.co.nz and entered my location and my ideal job, only to be told that there aren't any in New Zealand.
I then went to the Victoria University Graduate Career Hub where I was told that my account had been deactivated.
I tried the newspaper too, but since I have no interest in being an adult masseuse I had no luck there either.
I also tried TradeMe, GumTree, LinkdIn and recruitment agencies and I swear I sent out my CV eight billion times.
One week later all I'd had was a rather smarmy rejection letter:
"Thank you for allowing me to consider your credentials for this role. (Since we are superior we will begin by patronising you.)
Our client specified a number of requirements they sought in an ideal candidate and while your background featured many of these, on this occasion several applicants were closer to the client’s specific brief than yourself. (Why did you even bother applying?)
However, we will be glad to keep your resume on our confidential database, and to contact you if suitable opportunities arise. (Sometimes we need someone to wash the dishes after a big smarmy office party. We might call you. If you're lucky.)
Of course it doesn't help that someone spilt mojito on my keyboard the other day so writing cover letters has become an exercise in not using Ts, Ys, or capital letters. And avoiding the backspace. I'm honestly not surprised that I haven't had positive responses to letters that read:
o whom i ma
i am wriing o appl for he posiion of online communicaions edior, because i believe ha i could be a valuable addiion o our eam. firsl, m ediing and proofreading skills are impeccable, as evidenced b m promoion from chief sub edior at salien magazine o news edior for 2011 (a par-ime afer-hours posiion). secondl, alhough i do no have a healh background, i have used famil planning's services for several ears so consider myself relaivel familiar wih hem, and m role a herex as a canine healh wrier strenghened my research and quick comprehension skills. thirdl, m enjomen of working as a eam wih people from a varie of backgrounds and m abili o work o deadlines and under pressure, as experienced as an edior for both prin and broadcas media means ha i am a posiive member of an eam.
i ver much look forward o hearing from ou.
So, here I am, after three years of university, without a functioning laptop, unemployed and looking quite seriously at the flyer my housemate gave me yesterday advertising jobs available for dancers at Dream Girls.
I've never lost a job before, so it was kind of a new experience, and I hated that job so I wasn't really upset about it, but my boss is a wanker so I was mad on principle.
He *graciously* offered to let me work until the end of the day, so I watched TV online until the accountant handed over my final cheque (yes, they paid me by cheque) then packed up my things, stole a few plastic dogs (the office theme is dogs) and went to have an afternoon beer with a friend.
My colleagues (who also hate their jobs) and I brainstormed a couple of ways I could take revenge, but since most of them involved setting fire to the office or legal proceedings, I decided to just move on with my life and I spent the next few days hiking, sleeping in, going to the beach, and enjoying the sunshine.
However, anyone who has to pay rent knows that this sort of lifestyle is not sustainable and after a week of loving life, I decided it was time to start job hunting.
I started with seek.co.nz and entered my location and my ideal job, only to be told that there aren't any in New Zealand.
I then went to the Victoria University Graduate Career Hub where I was told that my account had been deactivated.
I tried the newspaper too, but since I have no interest in being an adult masseuse I had no luck there either.
I also tried TradeMe, GumTree, LinkdIn and recruitment agencies and I swear I sent out my CV eight billion times.
One week later all I'd had was a rather smarmy rejection letter:
"Thank you for allowing me to consider your credentials for this role. (Since we are superior we will begin by patronising you.)
Our client specified a number of requirements they sought in an ideal candidate and while your background featured many of these, on this occasion several applicants were closer to the client’s specific brief than yourself. (Why did you even bother applying?)
However, we will be glad to keep your resume on our confidential database, and to contact you if suitable opportunities arise. (Sometimes we need someone to wash the dishes after a big smarmy office party. We might call you. If you're lucky.)
Of course it doesn't help that someone spilt mojito on my keyboard the other day so writing cover letters has become an exercise in not using Ts, Ys, or capital letters. And avoiding the backspace. I'm honestly not surprised that I haven't had positive responses to letters that read:
o whom i ma
i am wriing o appl for he posiion of online communicaions edior, because i believe ha i could be a valuable addiion o our eam. firsl, m ediing and proofreading skills are impeccable, as evidenced b m promoion from chief sub edior at salien magazine o news edior for 2011 (a par-ime afer-hours posiion). secondl, alhough i do no have a healh background, i have used famil planning's services for several ears so consider myself relaivel familiar wih hem, and m role a herex as a canine healh wrier strenghened my research and quick comprehension skills. thirdl, m enjomen of working as a eam wih people from a varie of backgrounds and m abili o work o deadlines and under pressure, as experienced as an edior for both prin and broadcas media means ha i am a posiive member of an eam.
i ver much look forward o hearing from ou.
So, here I am, after three years of university, without a functioning laptop, unemployed and looking quite seriously at the flyer my housemate gave me yesterday advertising jobs available for dancers at Dream Girls.
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