Home Sweet Home

Due to a minor personality clash with certain housemates, I decided recently that life would probably be better for everyone involved if I looked for somewhere else to live. It was a hard decision to make, as my current pad is inexpensive and very convenient, but it's probably better for me to leave this way than in a body bag, and that was definitely the way things were going.

I turned to my old friend TradeMe to see what was on offer in this wonderful city in the way of rooms in flats and was excited to see that there are a lots of people looking for new flatmates. I decided I was going to be picky since I didn't want to jump from a frying pan into a fire, so I made a little list of things I needed in a house.

• I'm an inner city girl, so I immediately crossed off any house that wasn't in Kelburn, Te Aro, Central, CBD or Aro Valley (at a pinch)
• I really didn't want to pay more than $150 a week (maybe a little bit more if it was really nice)
• I wanted to live somewhere that wasn't mouldy and falling apart (harder than you might think in Wellington)
• I wanted to live with people who are social, but not partiers, fun but not crazy, and clean, but not obsessive
• I didn't want to live with more than four other people but preferably more than one other person
• I wanted to be able to walk to town and uni, but be near a bus in case I didn't want to walk
• I liked the idea of having a garden for the summer
• I quite fancied a room that was big enough to fit a big bed in - but hey, I'm not fussy!

So I trawled TradeMe armed with my list and found quite a few that seemed to fit the bill. Words like social, responsible, friendly, clean, quiet, inner-city, roomy, light, warm and airy were thrown about like candy, and photos showed huge rooms, gardens, modern kitchens, clean bathrooms and beautifully made beds.

'This,' I thought to myself, 'is going to be easy.'

Turns out, not so much. The internet can be very deceiving. One place I looked at I was stood outside for ten minutes because the girl forgot I was coming. One place I never even got into because no one heard me knocking. One guy assured me that yes, he was social, but the other housemate never left his room. One girl promised me that there weren't normally alcohol bottles strewn across the living room. One person said the landlord had been promising to fix that hole in the bathroom wall for a while now. One place I was greeted by my ex-boyfriend's date to our university ball - the year we were dating.

Bedrooms that had appeared in photos to be huge turned out to be tiny. Large, airy living rooms were tiny and dark. Modern kitchens became cess pits of mould and renovated bathrooms revealed suspect grey spots on the floor by the cruel light of reality. Friendly housemates turned out to be inarticulate and awkward. Ten minutes from town was only if you were running and bus stops right outside weren't serviced on weekends.

I was beginning to think I might have to stay in my current room and just accept that I was unpopular with other housemates, but there was one more house on my list...

To be continued!